Scott Kinmartin

After nine years of living in Orlando, I finally attended my first concert at the Florida State Fairgrounds in Tampa (photos).

A friend and former classmate, Josh, hooked me up with FREE lawn seating at Friday night’s 311 concert. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was surrounded by thousands of weed mowers. I only drank beer, but I swear I came home with a contact high.

A newly acquainted friend, Giuseppe, revealed the largest beach ball I’ve ever seen. I watched him nearly pass out after relentlessly inflating his “beached ball” (as he called it) for roughly an hour, purely with his own breath.

After merely 10 minutes of everyone in the crowd enthusiastically bouncing the ball to and fro, a gigantic black security guard positioned between the lawn section and 300 level seating, swiftly confiscated it.

As the stern security guard prepared to pop the “large hazardous obstruction,” I thought of how disappointed Giuseppe would be, and quickly dashed down and snatched it out of his hands, launching it freely into the astonished, yet cheerful crowd.

As I prepared to flee, the now distraught security guard firmly latched onto my right arm and boldly stated, “Let’s go. You’re coming with me!” Without hesitation, I took off running, dodging people with Barry Sanders-like quickness/finesse.

I knocked over 3-4 lawn chairs (breaking one of them), spilled numerous alcoholic beverages, and jumped over at least three couples, but managed to high-step into freedom on the other side of the amphitheater.

After collecting my breath, I promptly put my sweat-filled hat in my pocket, flipped my sticky Bills shirt inside out, and nonchalantly walked back to rejoin my friends where Giuseppe triumphantly welcomed my return.

This outrageous act of foolishness may have lasted all of 300 seconds, but the “beached ball” provided hours of entertainment free of obstruction thanks to my act of bravery. An unforgettable moment I will cherish.

Click here to see photo gallery from 311 concert in Tampa, Florida (via Facebook)